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Doo dee da dum dee doo (x 1 trillion).

    Sitting in the dark is rather frightening, so I sing to myself. I'm rather loud and obnoxious when I "sing". Must ... put ... quotations ... around ... "sing" because mostly I engage in hollering of a non-melodic variety. Beat keeping, I must say, is mighty difficult for me.
    Guess what I did today? No, not sit in the dark. Well, I did that too, but anyway ... I ran outside in the rain. Then, I was soaking wet. Then, I walked to a nursing home, got a whiff of the elderly, and left. I did take one woman for a walk, though. She was nice. I patted her head when I left and gave her a treat.
    She (not the lady I walked with) says I shouldn't treat the elderly like dogs. I told her that I don't, but she scolded me anyway. She just doesn't understand. They're nice, but they just smell funny. Besides, I thought they liked taking walks. Oh well. Maybe I won't do that anymore. I'll sure miss them. :(
    I've put on another air freshener. I'm not certain where I get them, they just sort of appear in my pockets sometimes. I wear them to smell super fresh. Although, it'd be neat if another scent mysteriously appeared in my waistcoat pocket sometime. Sometimes I wear a waistcoat.
    Yellow is nice. It's the color of galoshes, and Winnie the Pooh, and the sun sort-of (although looking straight at it burns my corneas), bananas when ripe, daffodils, half of bumblebees, and makes up part of orange. Red is an integral part of orange as well, but we'll discuss this another day.
    Today I ate three pieces of starfruit. It was like eating tiny pieces of starfish that live in the ocean. Is starfruit made from starfish. I don't think so. I think it just gets its name from its shape -- the starfruit. And the starfish. She dissected a starfish once. Wish I couldv'e seen. I fancy the star-shape. I also ate a corner of a strawberry pop-tart and left the rest on the floor, making sure to smash it up all crumbly-like so the ants could carry it away later. She yelled at me. I make mischief, apparently. I don't see it ...
    Anyhow, I drank a quart of orange juice and drew my own interpretation of the Mona Lisa on my forearm in magic marker. Some of it came off when I took a nap on my arm, so now pieces of her face are on mine. I drool sometimes when I sleep (always).
    I feel bad for ants. They're always getting squashed, or burned by magnifying glasses and the sun. Or worse ... being exterminated by professional ant-assassins. A.K.A. - pest control! She told me she'd call pest control on me!
    I am not a pest. - My version of Ex-President Nixon's speech. Yeah, I know President stuff sometimes.
    Speaking of orange juice, I threw a peanut at her cat today, and it ran behind the couch. Then, I cut off the legs of a stool and leaned it against the wall. No one has sat in it yet. Just wait! Fun!
    You know what's fun, hopscotch. I played for a whole fifteen minutes today until the rain washed away the pink chalk I used to draw it. Once the 3 was gone, I knew I was stuck. So, I hopped my way inside and drew a treasure map. I drew it on the back of some important paper she said she needed. I figured she was more likely to see it if I drew it on something she'd look at again. She looked at it alright. Then she looked at me. Then she threw an apple at my head. But I threw it back, and it accidentally hit her in leg, and she has a bruise. I throw harder than I thought. She forgave me, but made me clean the toilet.
    I used her hairbrush ... Shhh!
     I wouldn't use her toothbrush because that's gross.
    So, I played coroner today. The neighbors cat brought me a decapitated mouse, and I figured out the cause of death. Aside from the obvious lack of head appendage, it was also not breathing. That was my observation. Clever, eh? I mean, if it isn't breathing, it's obviously going to expire. Duh!
    I also watched cartoons upside-down in a rocking chair. What a time! I think all cartoons are best viewed upside down. The blood-rush to the head makes dull ones funny, and funny ones even funnier.
    It makes really funny ones hurt my brain.
   - Tea and lemons are a good combination. I like ice. Trees make paper and I have ten toes.   


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 6th, 2007 02:18 am (UTC)
Might I join you in Potato Sackland? Oh ... you smell worse. Like rotting christmas tree. OOOOH!
Jun. 7th, 2007 01:48 am (UTC)
Air fresheners appear in your pockets at random? That sounds like magic to me. Dark, evil magic. Haha, just kidding. It's the good kind (probably. Unless there's some evil witch who lives next door to you and plans to rot your brains with pine!). You know what ends up in my pockets? Dryer sheets and chocolate coins.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )